The last 2,3 weeks have been difficult. Do you have expectations for your partner’s career when you get married?
I did. And just recently, after close to 10 years of marriage, I realized that his goal was different from what I assumed it was. To be honest, I was upset, disappointed. I questioned if what I’ve done had affected his manner; if I had worked harder would he have worked harder; am I as mediocre professionally as he is, is that why we are together?
But then, couple of things occurred to me.
- It was my ‘assumption’ no matter what he said or did.
- Reaching a certain hight in career is not in everyone’s life goals or means to an end.
- He is the same person I married: gentle, patient, knowledgable.
- It’s not like I don’t waste time surfing on the web so who am I to throw stones?
Nothing has changed. I was the fool, making assumption. I also came to the conclusion that for our dreams to come true, I need to do a lot more in my career. We have so far lived wherever he gets a job but that might not get us where we want to be.
By hobvias sudoneighm, via Wikimedia Commons
But I’m still bitter. He hasn’t taught summer courses for the last 7 years and was able to work on his hobby (I thought it was his 2nd job but it doesn’t seem like it anymore). He has taken trips 2,3 times a year (national and international) and bought pretty pricy softwares for his hobby/2nd job. While I worked year around and took on house-work as my job, my 2nd job so that he has enough time for his jobs.