Do you have any, ‘when (_______) happens, I will do (_______)’? My husband and I have quite a lot of those. They pretty much all start with, ‘when we finally settle down in a part of the country that we like, we will (________).’
We both grew up in the northern part of the U.S. and after living in the south several years, we both yearn to go back. The culture is shockingly different. We don’t feel like we fit here and the possibility that we would fit eventually feels pretty slim.
Anyway… I was reaching my 40th birthday. And one day I thought, ‘wait, what if we end up settling down in our 50s or 60s? What if by then, I’m physically incapacitated? What if we end up in a big city in a small apartment?’
It was an eye-opener, or maybe it was part of my mid-life crisis. At the time, we were in the process of looking for a new apartment. The apartment we were living in was becoming noisy and uncomfortable. Our plan was to look for another apartment to rent. We didn’t think it was worth our time taking care of a yard that we can’t alter freely and grow things we like.
But with my eye-opening thought, my plan (at least, at the time not my husband’s) changed. We NEEDED to move to a house or at least a place where we can have a dog, pronto. I ended up convincing my husband. We looked for a house and I searched for a dog to adopt.
That’s how we ended up with J, our dog. It was a great decision if I may say so myself. My husband also seems to think so because he often says, ‘I’m glad you brought J into our life.’ Our only regret is that we didn’t meet him sooner. He was a 7 or 8 year-old mutt who had been living in a no-kill shelter for at least 3 years. We could have met him sooner.
I think I did read somewhere that you can’t wait for something in your life to happen to make yourself happy. There’s not much of a ‘right time’ for anything. You have to make whenever your good time.
It reminds me of a classmate in graduate school. The program was two years length. She got pregnant twice during that time, taking one year off in the middle and giving birth to her second child right after graduation. Others, including myself wondered how she can handle all that, working part-time, studying, and raising children. But in her case, too, waiting for a ‘right time’ might have not been realistic. If she waited until after graduation, she would have had to juggle getting use to her new role as a nurse practitioner with pregnancy and child-rearing. If she waited until she was established as a nurse practitioner, that would be another few years later, who knew what her situation would have been like then?
Sometimes, you just have to make the present moment, not a future, your ‘good time’.
Do you have a dream you are hopping to carry out? Did you have a future plan that you just ended up carrying out without waiting for the ‘right time’?