I had an appointment with my psychiatrist last week. My homework was to keep a mood log to see if there is any pattern in my occasional mood dips.
I used ‘Moody Me’, an app that helps me do that on my phone. Doing that, I noticed one thing. For good moods, I can chose between I’m ‘okay’, ‘good’, or ‘excellent’. In the past three months while I’ve been keeping tract, I never felt the urge to press ‘excellent’. So I asked my psychiatrist if I’m depressed or normal because of that. He, in turn, asked me how I’d define each. This was my thought:
‘Okay’: not depressed
‘Good’: probably days when I’ve shared a laugh with my husband just before I logged
‘Excellent’: looking forward to the day, excited about the day
So he asked me, when was the last time I felt excited about starting a day.
I didn’t have a ready answer. On work days, work had always been a stress. Once I start actually working, I’m OK. I don’t ponder on if I like the job or not. And I feel great if I helped solve a problem or if I was able to get the patient to understand what lifestyle changes are needed. But looking forward was what I was not.
On weekends, I was just relieved that I didn’t have to go to work (would it count as ‘excited’?). If there was something planned, I’d always worried about how that would affect my chores, my studies, reading, and relaxing time.
How would you define your ‘excellent day’?